One of my diaper boys posted this on FetLife and I thought I would share it here. I absolutely love it when things click like they have between Myself and this one. He’s definitely become a favorite in record time because of his open open honest communication and of course, his eagerness to please Me.
Today is 4 weeks that I have been locked in chastity for Princessa Natasha Strange. This new reality has been difficult at times, but rewarding most others. It’s been rewarding because so many seemingly little things throughout the day remind me that this is no longer something I’m reading about in a story fantasizing would happen to me. This is my reality. Every time I try and get hard, the cage reminds me. Every morning I wake up in a soaked diaper, I’m reminded. Whenever I’m not in diapers and I sit to pee, every time I shower, every time I see a beautiful woman on the street and know there’s nothing I could do for her. When I change clothes or change my diaper I am reminded. Most of all, every time I try and get something going with my wife and she’s not in the mood…I can’t just go jerk off, I’m reminded that this is real and this is my place. My manhood is not my own, thank you Princessa. It has been difficult for many of the same reasons it has been rewarding. I have those, “what are you doing?!” thoughts, a lot! It’s been difficult because it always is when the ego is being broken down. The days when there’s a lot going on in life and my chastity and diapers seem like a distraction, are especially difficult. Having sleep interrupted by a straining dick in a cage every night is difficult. The masculine more alpha thoughts I have sometimes seem silly now. It helps when I’ve had the chance to think through the fact that I want these things. I want them because I know Princessa gets some enjoyment knowing they are happening. It is all worth it and I focus on the potential to please her.
I was first introduced to Princessa in May this year. My wife, who is very accommodating of my kinks but only kind of plays along, was going away for a week leaving me alone. She had asked what I wanted in return while I was alone all week. I mentioned I wanted to be in diapers as much as possible and to be watched and to have someone make sure that I wasn’t just doing it when I felt like it. I wanted to know what it felt like to HAVE to wear them at someone else’s direction all the time. My wife agreed and I started doing a little research into who I thought would be the most experienced and the most knowledgeable…someone actually into all this and not just someone selling content. In Princessa, I thought I had found someone that I could very willingly submit too, someone I deeply wanted to impress and earn some “good boy’s.” Princessa is beautiful, physically and emotionally and most of all she knows exactly how to manipulate, control, emasculate and train men. I searched for every interview I could find that she had done, read tweets, news articles, some forum posts I could find with a google search and I read the whole blog on her website. I thought I had a basic understanding of her philosophies and what interested her. I was hooked. My wife agreed and contacted Princessa after she negotiated some rules with me. The week I was “babysat” by Princessa was eye-opening and exciting. It was control and humiliation on a level I haven’t felt before. The week is a story on its own, for another time, but it solidified my desire to be anything for her. Pet, service sub, slave, chaste, I don’t know…name something haha. I am realistic, I know this is something that takes time. I will do what is needed.
Just as I have found things both rewarding and difficult, I have also found myself in high peaks and low valleys emotionally. The low valleys are when I start to feel sorry for myself and have second thoughts. This happens usually at 3 or 4 am when I wake in my wet overnight diaper because my dick is trying to get hard in its cage. It’s not terribly painful but uncomfortable enough to wake me up every night. I have to waddle around a bit, do push-ups and sit-ups to get it to go down, and every night almost as soon as it does go down enough, the floodgates open uncontrollably and I wet my diaper again. It is unbelievable what a mind-fuck it is to have to tiptoe around my own bedroom so that the crinkles from my diaper don’t wake my wife. Chastity has turned wearing diapers from being something that turned me on to being something that is humiliating beyond words. The humiliation from wearing them used to be something I sought out and was always temporary until I had an orgasm. Princessa has expertly turned that desire against me by taking away the pleasure I found in being diapered. Multiple times a day now when I change from a wet diaper and tape on a new dry one I have the constant thought, “why are you even doing this now?” The truth is that the only thing that keeps me in them now is so that I can put that check in the box when I report to her at night. There is no physical pleasure in it the way there used to be. The only pleasure in it (if this makes sense at all) is knowing that she knows I wore them even though I didn’t want to, which brings me to those peaks…
Every day that I wake up in my sagging (usually nursery printed) diaper I know it’s another step towards a better me for Princessa. It feels odd to be proud of such emasculating things but I am. In these 4 weeks, I’ve been more attentive during the day, more motivated. I am so motivated to pleasure my wife and have spent more time between her legs than ever before in our relationship. I love satisfying her and find that even though I pray every time that she reciprocates, I’m just as happy when she doesn’t. Her denial, though not kink driven is exactly what keeps me driven. One thing I had heard of happening with long term chastity but couldn’t really believe is that my sexual pleasure center changing. I’ve started riding an Aneros massager for even the slightest relief which of course gives me some sexual gratification at the moment, but also always leaves me in a much more frustrated state when ultimately an orgasm never comes. It feels as though I have accepted that I won’t be jerking off and don’t even really think about it. I think mostly about my plug and the position in which I can sit in my diaper and ride it that will give me the most feeling.
4 weeks, unlocked for maybe 20 minutes, and 2 orgasms with my wife… Thank you Princessa for helping me experience the humiliation and emasculation I have been fantasizing about all these years, I had no idea what I was asking for.
My wife is on board with this new arrangement and I would expect nothing less from someone I consider to be the most amazing woman ever. She knows Princessa would never deny another Femme any kind of pleasure. She knows she just has to cut the plastic lock holding both my keys in its hard plastic sheath. There have been many times when after spending too much time on my knees between her legs that she’s just too tired to reciprocate. Until the morning that marked exactly 3 weeks and 1 day of chastity; after spending enough time between my wife’s legs to be sure she was satisfied, she started ripping open the tapes of my soaked overnight diaper. She grunted somewhat annoyed and told me to hurry and go get the keys. I couldn’t get to my closet fast enough. As the key went into the lock I thought I would break through the cage, my desire for her was at an all-time high. She pulled the cage part off and she started working at the ring and that’s when it all ended abruptly as I shot out the result 3 weeks and a day’s worth of pent up, frustrated, denied balls. My wife looked at me both awestruck and disappointed. One little “HA” came from her and she just stared at me. I have never been a premature ejaculator and yet here we were. The embarrassment of it washed over me to the point my knees were shaking. Then the reality of what just occurred hit me. I was truly a chaste submissive, this was evidence and it was bound to happen. I belonged in chastity. Who the hell can’t hold back an orgasm long enough to even get inside their wife? The humiliation was real…and I realize that is what kept me hard and drove me a bit crazy. I didn’t even bother trying to get the ring off. I grabbed my wife, eager to prove I could perform even though she looked at me skeptically. It was the best sex we’ve had in recent memory. My desire to see that she was left completely satisfied was overwhelming and coupled with the desensitized state of my penis I was able to give her “exactly what she wanted.” We didn’t get to bask in the post-sex glow for very long and I didn’t get to enjoy that old alpha feeling very long either. That old alpha feeling was completely dashed as I walked to the bathroom to shower and she called out, “Wait! Come get your diaper and your cage.” I took a cold shower so I could get my cage back on and was in a dry diaper immediately following. I couldn’t wait to inform Princessa.
Every morning for the past 4 weeks I have had to report out to Princessa. She wants to know, was I diapered that day, was I unlocked, did I orgasm, what did I do for my wife, and then some thoughts of mine from the day. Every time I report out to Princessa I feel a sense of satisfaction for many reasons, but two above the rest. First, I know that she is helping me to be a better husband. While I was always striving for that, the added bonus of earning a “good boy” from Princessa puts new enthusiasm into what I’m doing. The second reason is that in the short time that she and I have had our interaction Princessa really got her hooks in me. I want to do the things I’m told by her. I don’t want to disappoint her, whether her disappointment would be feigned or real if I do not complete something, it makes no difference. It would be easy enough for me to just cut the keys from their locked sheath and take the cage off, but I am too motivated. I want this dynamic and relationship to be real. It feels like an investment in the future…the foundation of what is to come.