Me as a baby FemDom!
Shot by the legendary Ilsa Strix for ProDomination.com. ProDomination was a community pay site she ran with the purpose of covering legal defense funds for Pro Dommes who were arrested.
I didn’t plan on becoming a FemDom, but I can’t imagine my life any other way.
I didn’t know what to expect when I parked my motorcycle in front of Fantasy Makers back in the spring of 1995. I was there to talk about being paid to be kinky with strangers. I don’t even know that I had words for it. Carol Leigh aka Scarlot Harlot had termed the phrase “sex worker” some 15 years before, but it still wasn’t used much, at least not in my nerdy goth circles.
I was so lucky to stumble on Fantasy Makers and the world of FemDom when I did. I was a senior in college months from getting my degree in business management. It was not a degree that I wanted, but was the easiest path for me to graduate since I had changed my major so many time. I just wanted out. My classmates who had gotten early jobs were now excited about things I was NEVER going to be excited about. Others were so stressed out about getting into the right MBA program they could no longer carry on a conversation. The women’s room smelled like vomit and anxiety.
I on the other hand got to make my own schedule and more than enough money to pay my bills by working with amazing women, putting on costumes, roleplaying, and basically… kinky weird stuff I had only dabbled in previously. I mean. I had THOUGHT I was kinky before, but when you start working several days a week at a place where anyone can show up and enact their innermost fantasies, you realize quite quickly that the world of kink is a much bigger place than you realized.
I was a kid in a very kinky candy store. Especially ‘growing up’ in a kinky city like San Francisco. We had the Mr S, Madame S, Stormy Leather and Leather Etc show rooms to cater to our weird deviant desires. We had multiple places to go play. I remember running into Patrick Califia at a play party and standing in awe as I had just finished reading Macho Sluts for not the first time.
My first year as a FemDom I was able to attend The Hookers Ball, a epic party run by the legendary Margo St James. The majority of the party was vanilla, but I spent my entire time there in the balcony with the other kinksters in non-stop play mode. Actually. I did stop once. To watch Margo St James be carried into the party on a fucking throne. FEMDOM GOALS.
I’ve been ever so lucky to live an extraordinary life as a FemDom. I’ve traveled the world on my own terms, experiencing it in a way that few will. I’ve worked hard to cultivate deep long-standing relationships with the submissives who serve me. Because sex work, even FemDom is work. So much work. But I would much rather do this “work” for myself and my wellbeing then labor for anyone else else.
Over the years I have dabbled with the idea of getting a more stable “real” job. Of using one of my degrees and doing something that includes health insurance and paid vacation, I can’t imagine leaving this life behind. I have slipped into retirement taking my favorite service playthings with me once or twice over the years, but I always return,
I can’t imagine my life without service submissives running errands and being on call for random needs, pain sluts as blank canvases for my whip, sissies entertaining me with their silly little sluttiesness, pay pansies counting out their cash at my feet, because yes, I do enjoy the aspect on occasion, and of course, my amazingly strong, creative and kick ass FemDom sisters.
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