Poor Gumbi.

He met with me to talk about donating some kinky toys and furniture his partner and he were looking to rehome. We were chatting in front of a coffee shop last July about the items, and our common kinky friends when someone text Me to say they had a chastity emergency. They were locked in The Cellmate, but a teste had slipped out and could they please oh please have 5 minutes out to correct that.

I told Gumbi to hold that thought while I attended to this little matter. But unfortunately that left Gumbi alone with his thoughts, feeling the weight of his own key in his pocket. His partner had put him in there some weeks before, but he carried his own key “just in case” and it was the only key.

Personally, I think it would have been much safer at home, with his partner, but live and learn Gumbi. Live and learn.

After I relocked My Cellmate, Gumbi confessed that he too was wearing a chastity cage. Not just any cage, but a custom Lori made for life long containment. He pulled an envelope out of his pocket, ripped it open and dumped the tiny key in his hand to show it to me. It was one of the last times he held it. It’s been 234 days. After it hung on My wall for much of that I had to give it back to his partner for a bit for personal reasons, but now, it’s locked safely in the ChronoVault. The timer was set for 6 months, but who knows where it will end. I could end it much sooner… or extend it indefinitely.

If you are curious, I will be demoing O/our set up at FemDom Bootcamp: Chastity on April 8th.

A couple of months ago, a submissive gave me a large collection of old fetish and FemDom Magazines. Dominatrix Directory International (DDI) Skin 2, Marquis Magazine, Secrets, Leg Show… and a ton more I’d not heard of. Included in these were a few copies of Spectator Magazine, my local sex rag from when I was a baby Domme. You would look through them and see your fantasies come to life. I look through them and see my friends. Over the last 25 plus years I have meet and got to know some of the most amazing women. My sisters in FemDom. Some stayed in the business only for a few years before they moved on to another endeavour. Others, like me, wandered in and just never left. Because the life of a FemDom can be a charmed one.

But FemDom is not all glamour.

But, what you see on social media; sexy selfies, expensive gifts, clips of mind blowing kinky play is only part of the story. Sex work is work. Being a FemDom is work. We are crafty hustlers. We build dungeons and bring fantasies to life. We create a safe place to confess your greedy perversions. We create a magical blend of escapism and therapy that so many find indispensable. And as with any business owner, we also do all the marketing, business planning, networking, tool cleaning and maintenance.

And after we return home from making fantasies come to life and having people tell us that the brand of escapism we provide is absolutely impossible to live without, we find another law passed that prevents us from running our business. FOSTA/SESTA was passed in 2018 and allows for platforms to kick anyone they suspect of sex work off their platform, showing that politicians simply can not understand consent.

Sex Work by Choice

I am, by choice, a sex worker. The type of sex work I do is FemDom/Professional Domination. I have several degrees which I could use to live a “normal” life the monotony of which would cause me to suffocate and die. Someone in my place of privilege should NOT be confused with a teen runaway or immigrant who is forced into sex work.

Please. Use your vote to end these laws in your community, so matter how big or small, so FemDoms like myself and the amazing women listed below can run our businesses, and those who are sex trafficked can get the help they need.

Back to crafty hustling

As online avenues continue to shut us down, we again are invoking our crafty hustling selves and bringing the blog back. Because our blogs are ours. This is where you will be able to find us when Instagram/Facebook/Twitter, and even OnlyFans shut us down. Bookmark our sites and visit us often.

The irony is that sex work was the first and ONLY reason man entrusted his credit card info to the internet back in the age of dial up internet. Almost every social site has been built on the backs of sex workers who are then kicked off. So now we are stepping back in time to revive the blog.

Introducing The FemDom Society

Every couple of months I plan on hosting a FemDom Society bloghop to help spread the love that is FemDom, and help you, my dear reader, connect with some amazing people who will share their wit and wisdom, their sexy insight, and their stories. Go forth and worship them as the Gods and Goddesses they are. Go forth and bookmark like it’s 2003.

Every hop will have a theme, and because this is the inaugural FemDom Society Hop, the theme is of course, FemDom in all its glory.

Domina Viktoria Sway The Ultimate in Healthy Masculine  Behavior: feminine and masculine energy in FemDom Play.

Goddess Alexandra Snow From Curiosity to Curated Experience: The media exposure of the world of female dominance has escalated rapidly in recent years, but it still leaves many searching for authentic connection in the vast ocean of kink. How do you go from casual interest to immersive play?

Mistress Holly GoLightly Dominatrix Evolution: A personal reflection on FemDom from a baby domme all grown up.

Mistress Jadis Ives Sydney Dominatrix Mistress Jadis Ives explores the term FemDom: What is and isn’t FemDom? What are the goals of Female Domination?

Mistress Morningstar My FemDom Philosophy: A peek into my devilish and delicious philosophy on FemDom and how it applies to the relationship we can build together.

Miss Mae Ling Why Femdom is a Religion and Not Just a Fetish: The similarities between Femdom (female domination) and religion. Why femdom is closer to a religion than just a hobby or kinks and BDSM. Femdom is a lifestyle.

Princessa Natasha Strange The Accidental FemDom: I always wanted to be infamous, even from a very young age when I was a little unsure of what that word meant. It just sounded like so much more fun than being famous. I was right.

And finally, Princess Hime leaves us with some FemDom roleplay ideas.

I didn’t plan on becoming a FemDom, but I can’t imagine my life any other way.

I didn’t know what to expect when I parked my motorcycle in front of Fantasy Makers back in the spring of 1995. I was there to talk about being paid to be kinky with strangers. I don’t even know that I had words for it. Carol Leigh aka Scarlot Harlot had termed the phrase “sex worker” some 15 years before, but it still wasn’t used much, at least not in my nerdy goth circles.

I was so lucky to stumble on Fantasy Makers and the world of FemDom when I did. I was a senior in college months from getting my degree in business management. It was not a degree that I wanted, but was the easiest path for me to graduate since I had changed my major so many time. I just wanted out. My classmates who had gotten early jobs were now excited about things I was NEVER going to be excited about. Others were so stressed out about getting into the right MBA program they could no longer carry on a conversation. The women’s room smelled like vomit and anxiety.

I on the other hand got to make my own schedule and more than enough money to pay my bills by working with amazing women, putting on costumes, roleplaying, and basically… kinky weird stuff I had only dabbled in previously. I mean. I had THOUGHT I was kinky before, but when you start working several days a week at a place where anyone can show up and enact their innermost fantasies, you realize quite quickly that the world of kink is a much bigger place than you realized.

I was a kid in a very kinky candy store. Especially ‘growing up’ in a kinky city like San Francisco. We had the Mr S, Madame S, Stormy Leather and Leather Etc show rooms to cater to our weird deviant desires. We had multiple places to go play. I remember running into Patrick Califia at a play party and standing in awe as I had just finished reading Macho Sluts for not the first time.

My first year as a FemDom I was able to attend The Hookers Ball, a epic party run by the legendary Margo St James. The majority of the party was vanilla, but I spent my entire time there in the balcony with the other kinksters in non-stop play mode. Actually. I did stop once. To watch Margo St James be carried into the party on a fucking throne. FEMDOM GOALS.

I’ve been ever so lucky to live an extraordinary life as a FemDom. I’ve traveled the world on my own terms, experiencing it in a way that few will. I’ve worked hard to cultivate deep long-standing relationships with the submissives who serve me. Because sex work, even FemDom is work. So much work. But I would much rather do this “work” for myself and my wellbeing then labor for anyone else else.

Over the years I have dabbled with the idea of getting a more stable “real” job. Of using one of my degrees and doing something that includes health insurance and paid vacation, I can’t imagine leaving this life behind. I have slipped into retirement taking my favorite service playthings with me once or twice over the years, but I always return,

I can’t imagine my life without service submissives running errands and being on call for random needs, pain sluts as blank canvases for my whip, sissies entertaining me with their silly little sluttiesness, pay pansies counting out their cash at my feet, because yes, I do enjoy the aspect on occasion, and of course, my amazingly strong, creative and kick ass FemDom sisters.

This post is part of the FemDom Society bloghop. Hop on over and read some more stories about FemDom.

Join myself, Viola Parker, Alexandra Snow, and Cupcake Sinclaire on March 11th to talk about roleplay at FemDom Bootcamp.

Roleplay was one of my gateways to professional domination. Many kids want to be animals when they are little. For me, that desire never really went away. Thankfully I had the theater, goth clubs, and live action roleplay to get me by, but well into my college years I really just wanted to be a cat.

I wanted to purr, rub up against you, allowing you to stroke my soft, soft skin before pouncing on you and sticking my claws in you one… by… one feeling your heart race in terror.

While the roles I play have grown and evolved that desire remains the same. Always needing to lure you in, using the character you find most desirable, lull you into a place where you feel relaxed and let down your guard. Encourage you to confess your desires and missteps to me, expecting leniency and compassion from your state of cleavage drunken complacency, then pounce. Shackles on. Paddle at the ready. Punishment shall commence.

And of course the more taboo or outrageous the roleplay – the better. Perhaps I was your mothers friend, the preacher’s wife, or your favorite femme from Star Trek. It was Dr Crusher, wasn’t it.

This month our topic at FemDom Bootcamp will be how to incorporate roleplay into your kinky play. The great thing about roleplay is that no matter your skill or experience level, no matter your interests, roleplay can always be incorporated. And sometimes sexy roleplay is a fun way to introduce a reluctant partner to BDSM games they find intimidating.

What is Femdom Bootcamp?

In the before times, FemDom Bootcamp was a 3 hour in person class that started with a short lecture on the topic, followed by some hot demos on eager demo bottoms, which turned into an intimate little play party with Mistress Viola and I encouraging curious FemDoms to try their hand at everything from spanking to genital torment. In covid times we have pivoted to an online version which gives us a chance to invite friends from all over the world to join us. We still start with a conversation about the topic at hand, then move on to take questions from the chat, and occasionally invite people to show off on screen. Sound intriguing? You should join us!

Click here to get tickets to previous bootcamps!