Basic Etiquette for Submissives
- Hydrate and eat before you arrive. You are about to embark on an adventure that requires you prepare yourself.
- Make sure you are clean and presentable – inside, as well as out. If you anticipate anal play – please make sure you douche. Don’t know how? Feel free to ask me.
- Do not wear cologne. I like you to smell fresh and clean.
- Call or text as instructed, promptly. Not early. Not late. If you are running late, text Me as soon as possible.
- Upon entering the dungeon, remove your shoes, jacket, hat, and watch, and place them where directed near the entry.
- Have toys or cloths that you enjoy and know they fit? Bring them.
- Leave your tribute in the box without me having to ask for it. You will be directed to it during your first visit. I should never have to ask you for My tribute.
- If you would like to bring a gift – check my wishlist for current needs. Live flowers are sweet but not a favorite. Gifts are always appreciated.
- Be respectful of My time post-session. As much as I would like to spend the afternoon chatting, I may have something or someone else to attend to. I love to visit afterwards and do offer a post session aftercare option. If you are interested, inquire when booking.
- Write a post session thank you note. Include what you enjoyed about the session, as well as anything that didn’t work for you. This helps me understand what worked for you and what didn’t. Communication like this will help our intimacy grow and the play be more deeper and more exciting.
What is the difference between coaching and playing?
Playing involves fancy outfits and power exchange. Coaching involves note taking and street cloths. Often coaching involves demo’s and can evolve into co-topping. If you are wishing to learn a skill, I do have demo bottoms
Someone with your pictures is messaging me. Is it really you?
Probably not. The only social media sites that I’m on are in the footer of my site. Always reach out to providers and adult entertainers through their official website. We will not reach out to you via DM. We are far too busy for that. But scammers and catfishers aren’t!
Do you see novices?
Of course! Everyone starts out as a novice at some point. As long as you are able to clearly communicate your interests and limits as you know them, we will be fine. I understand that having not played before, you might not be fully aware of what you really enjoy – and that’s fine. All journeys in BDSM involve exploring your limits – which many times will mean bumping up against them. Still worries? Perhaps start with a virtual session or phone call.
What if I don’t know exactly what I want?
Not everyone who comes to me knows exactly what they want. Sometimes they know what they fantasize about, but they are not sure what it’s like to actually participate in those activities. My role, whether you visit me for coaching or submission, is to help you figure out what you are curious about exploring. Don’t worry. I know what questions to ask.
What are your rates?
Current rates for coaching, teaching, and power exchange sessions can always be found on my contact page.
Do I have to bring you a present?
Gifts are always appreciated, but never expected. Check my gifts and tribute page for my current interests.
What if I don’t like pain?
I am often asked if enduring pain is required to submit to me. While I am a sadist, and do enjoy dishing out pain, I am also a consensual sadist who only truly enjoys it when both of us are enjoying it. There are lots of other games that I enjoy – chastity, humiliation, bondage, and role-play, to name a few – that don’t involve physical pain.
Can I bring my own toys or clothing?
Yes! Please do. While I have lots of toys and outfits for you to wear, always feel free to bring items you know fit you, and toys you know you enjoy. Please make sure any items you bring are cleaned and toys are charged. Always let me know what you are bringing so I can plan accordingly.
What is your age limit?
I do not see anyone younger than 21, and I’ve yet to see anyone older then 90.
Can I surprise my partner with an appointment with you?
No. You may surprise them with a gift certificate to an appointment with me. In my experience, surprising someone with a kink experience rarely goes the way you fantasize it will. Kink requires communication. Save the surprises for after negotiation.
Will I get a safe word? What if I don’t want to play with a safe word?
Everyone I play with gets a safe word. “Yellow” to slow things down. “Red” to stop them. You are free to not use your safe word, but you will have one.
What if I don’t have references?
I often see people who have never seen a sex worker before and can’t offer references. If you cannot offer professional references, I may ask to see your Fetlife profile, or other social media presence no matter how small, or to do a phone session before we meet in person.
Can I be your personal slave?
Probably not. I adore service. It’s one of my love languages. But most often I get this question from people who have not demonstrated their ability to serve me. I get this question most often from strangers on the internet who think “personal slave” means I will play with them for free. Sometimes they even think it means they will live with me. This is 1000% incorrect.
If you have been seeing me for a while and we seem to have a good rapport, AND you see an opportunity where your skills could meet a need that I have, THEN you can ask to be my personal slave. And most likely, you will still need to pay me, as this is what I do for a living. While I may love service, my banker only accepts cash.
What if I run into you outside the dungeon?
We ignore each other. Unless we are at a fetish event, in which I invite you to come say hello to me. I will never approach you.
I’m coming from out of town. Where should I stay?
My space is located in the inner SE not far from the Burnside Bridge. I generally recommend people stay at The Jupiter which is a short walk away. My fetish space Sub Rosa is not far from downtown Portland, where many major hotel chains can be found.
Can I fly you to me?
Yes! I love to travel! I have traveled both to see clients as well as coach couples and would be happy to discuss either. I am also a fun kinky companion to take on vacation with you. That is of course only available to established clients.
If you do not see your question answered here, please reach out to me through my contact page and ask.