AKA: That’s Probably Not Really Me.
Photo by Neon Nightmares
Every single dominatrix I know has had someone impersonate them at least once.
You log into Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or where ever you consume your social media (and it consumes You) and someone with my pictures DM’s you/follows you/likes your media. You strike up a conversation.
It’s probably not me. I only direct message people I know on social. Email is *always* a better way to reach me.
You get a DM from someone using my pictures and asking you to be their personal submissive. Often they will tell you it’s their personal special account for special people. They make you feel seen.
It’s not me. I only choose personal submissives from people I have seen as clients because they have already shown they can follow my rules and value my time. And those conversations always take place in person.
There is a free crossdressing group on facebook. It’s quite active. It’s all my photos and links to my podcasts and my social media but apparently the best place to communicate with them is on Facebook. “I don’t take sessions anymore, but I do accept donations if you like my work.” Someone apparently sent her $1000 before realizing it wasn’t me. I’ve reported her to Facebook but was told there was simply nothing they could do.
Every single adult performer I know deals with scammers and impersonators using our names, our pictures, even linking to our sites and telling you that this space, whether it’s a “private” Instagram or Twitter account, Facebook groups, discord, kik, and EVERY other online space.
Then people finally contacting us through our websites to tell us, angrily, that they were scammed.
It can feel special to have someone reach out to you and want to claim you. To flirt with you. And they often talk about things on our social media or web sites in a way that makes them seem like it could be us. Just maybe.
It feels horrible to find out that you have been sending money to someone who is not who they say. Or having conversations about a potential session. Even talking about being in a personal relationship, only to find out that they are not who they say they are. You’ve lost money, self worth, and feel a fool. But you are not alone. Far from it.
There are ways to protect yourself!
First and foremost ONLY CONTACT US THROUGH OUR SITES. If someone reach out to you claiming to be us, contact us through our site to confirm. ESPECIALLY if we tell you that you don’t need to in our special insta/facebook/kik/tiktok. Our better yet, sign up for our official fanclub and talk to us there.
It straight up sucks to have you contact us, tell us you fell for an imposter, get mad at us, then tell us you can’t pay us for our time and content because you are depressed because you gave so much $$ and fell for an imposter. Even though you love what we are doing.
The thing to remember is this is a business for us. We are indeed kinky as fuck and we love this business, BUT;
- We don’t have time to reach out to people individually to try to book sessions.
- We don’t have the energy to chat with you for free. We reserve that for our clients and personal submissives.
- We don’t have special hidden places on the internet. We are business people. If we have someplace on the internet that we like to hang out and we want you there WE WILL ADVERTISE IT.
- We will never ask you to send a deposit through Western Union. I’m not sure who uses Western Union at this point aside from scammers.
What can you do?
Report them. They will simply start up another account IF the service they are on even bothers to shut them down. You can tell us, but chances are we know and we have reported them. And really, it just bums me out that there are people out there making money off my work. I don’t have the time nor energy to post links to all the scammers our there using my info. Unfortunately it is it’s own industry at this point.
You can also simply ignore them. If you don’t fall for it, they will move on.
Or. My favorite. Play them at their own game and send me screenshots.
I could go on about this. All of the people I know in the industry have been effected. Several, like my business partner Mistress Viola, and Daddy An Li have written great posts about their experiences with scammers and catfishers.