This was not written by me, but for me by someone I had in chastity for two years. This is also mainly for chastity pets with penises. I’m often asked if I will be a keyholder and the answer is always a resounding YES! But I do limit this to people I have played with and require check-ins either weekly via video, or ongoing chat on my fan club.
About the Author
The author has almost two decades of experience with chastity and has been locked in a highly secure Lori’s Chastity Device for over three years – the last two years with no release. While much of the following is based on his experience, it also incorporates the experiences of a number of other committed chastity lovers the author has talked to in depth about chastity. Almost every term used when talking about chastity has a different meaning depending on who is talking about it. To keep things clear, I will define long-term chastity as being locked in a secure device so the wearer cannot get any access to his penis without a key that the wearer does not control AND that the wearer does not know when or even if the person controlling the key will let him out of the device.
I chose this definition because after talking to lots of chastity lovers, the above seems to be the most frequent and also most exciting chastity fantasy. For better or worse, guys seem obsessed with inescapable devices, completely losing control of the key, and having someone else decide when or if they can get an orgasm. In the limit, many fantasize about being locked permanently.
Please note that this definition does NOT imply that this fantasy is the “best” way to experience chastity or that someone pursuing it has more chastity cred than someone enjoying chastity a different way. There is a tendency for longer-term wearers to put down the guy occasionally enjoying chastity, and that is just wrong as they are different experiences, not a longer version of the same thing.
The last point to make before diving in is to draw the distinction between long-term chastity and serial short-term chastity. I have known guys (and I have been one myself) who get themselves seriously locked for anywhere from two weeks to a couple of months, build up the sexual excitement, arrange to get out when it peaks, get off and then re-lock for another go… and another… cycle and repeat. Some men I know have gone more than five years with this type of cycle and while it is immensely satisfying, it is not the same experience as what I define as long-term chastity. The loss of control and the denial long past the peak of arousal make long-term chastity a vastly different experience.
Physical Issues with Long-Term Chastity
Long-term chastity is not easy to get used to, and it can be quite a pain to sustain. These are some of the physical issues you likely will have to confront.
You WILL need to keep your penis and the device clean. Your device should have holes that permit you to use a swab to get soap and water to every bit of skin on your penis and balls. Foam swabs seem to work better and hold up longer than cotton swabs. You will likely need to clean every single day with soap at least. Some people use soap and then a few times a week also use mouthwash to take care of bacteria. If you have a smell when you remove your briefs, then you are not cleaning often enough. To make staying clean easier, you will probably want to shave around the device – including your balls – every day or so.
Pubic hair traps both sweat and oils and any lube you are using and makes a hard-to-clean mess very quickly. It is easier just to shave it all before getting locked and then keep it shaved. And yes, this is hard to do when locked and requires a lot of practice – expect nicks where you don’t want them.
After cleaning, you will want to dry the device thoroughly even on the inside of the device. An electric hair blower and a swab can help direct air to the inside of the device even when you are locked into it. Taking all of these steps can easily double (or more) your shower time.
When you do remove the device for a check-up, a trip, or an emergency, keep in mind that if you don’t re-lock in about 24 hours, your skin will start to peel since the oils are no longer held in against the skin. If this starts, you might want to wait to re-lock until it has cleared up, which may take up to a week.
If you have a device which lets part of your tip protrude or otherwise has a hole at the tip, you should use a swab to change the part of your tip pressing against the hole multiple times a day. If you don’t do this and are locked for a long time, your skin will start to deform at the hole, and slowly you can develop a bulge around your hole that will stay there after you finally get out.
If you have a ball ring, chafing can be a real problem. You do NOT want sores under the ring. The easiest solution is some type of lube. Standard lubes are often greasy and not designed for keeping skin from rubbing and chafing. Many users find a chafing gel such as Monistat Care Chafing Gel (or its generic equivalents) to be great for long-term use. You may find that your device rubs against your leg and causes soreness there. A good solution is a roll-on such as Gold Bond Friction Defense used on the leg.
You likely will have to make some changes to your wardrobe. Many find that they can no longer wear briefs as underwear and have to switch to boxers. Tight pants will show the outline of your device and can pinch your balls against the device. Swimsuits can really reveal the outlines of the device.
You likely will have to change the way you approach some physical activities. Riding a bike can be both painful and potentially dangerous because of the seat and the crossbar. Getting into and out of car seats can require extra care. Hard wooden seats can be painful to sit on for long. You should take extra care when playing sports – getting hit in the crotch when wearing an unyielding device is both painful and can cause real damage since the usual give is not there.
Psychological Issues with Long-Term Chastity
Tough as the physical issues can be, the psychological issues can actually be harder to deal with. As time passes, you learn to master the physical challenges, and they become easier to handle. By contrast, as you stay locked longer and longer, the experience usually becomes more intense, and the psychological issues just become bigger.
You will likely lose the sense of having a penis at some point in a long lock-up.
This can be very difficult to come to grips with. That sense doesn’t suddenly disappear one day; instead, you slowly lose that physical sense. Psychologically, in a very real sense, you can come to feel unmanned. If you are seriously locked and cannot get out unless someone else lets you out, you are likely to reach the point where you feel you can’t take it anymore and have to get out.
You are likely to need a lot of time from your keyholder and might become angry or act out with them. This can lead to arguments and an abrupt end to your chastity. Assuming they keep you locked, you quite possibly can come to resent your keyholder. The chastity can stop being fun, and you can suddenly feel trapped which you can do nothing about. If the feeling is bad enough, you can have a panic attack, or feel betrayed by your keyholder. You and your keyholder should know in advance that this can happen and be prepared in advance with what you will do if it occurs.
Conversely, some men turn off their libido and are no longer excited by their usual sexual stimuli. This isn’t a problem if you are in long-term chastity precisely with the goal of losing your sex drive. For other men, this can strip all the fun out of chastity for both you and the keyholder.
With long-term chastity, a man can experience both a loss of libido AND insane levels of desire at different times. This puts a huge strain not only on the wearer but the keyholder as well. The longer one is locked by a keyholder, the more dependent you are likely to get towards that keyholder. You are likely to want more attention and care from the keyholder than they would normally want to devote to your chastity.
Both wearers and keyholders should keep in mind that the experience is FAR more intense for the wearer than the holder. The wearer lives with it 24/7; the holder only occasionally. Over time, the keyholder can easily fall prey to out of sight, out of mind. In the first few weeks, the chastity can be really exciting for you both, but as you two figure it out, that sense of discovery fades, and it becomes more routine for the holder since they are not experiencing the changes the wearer is; at best they only observe some of them. So over time, wearers tend to get more intense and want more contact while holders tend to get less engaged and see less need for contact.
Before entering into long-term chastity with someone, you both should understand this is likely to happen and figure out how you will deal with it. The wearer is likely to view long-term chastity a lot differently after a few years than they did when starting. What the wearer wants and gets out of chastity may not turn out to be what the holder signed on for. The resulting conflict can add stress to an already stressful situation for the wearer.
The holder is also likely to change his/her attitude towards chastity. This change is likely to be slow, and unless both parties are alert to the possibility, the holder may slowly change the way they approach chastity: Quite a few start to tune out once the initial excitement fades. A smaller number come to really embrace chastity and may increase the severity or length of the lockup because it is doing more for them.
With both holder and wearer changing attitudes towards chastity over time, if you both want a successful experience, you should frequently check-in and discuss what chastity does for each of you at that moment and make sure you are still on the same page If the wearer is committed to chastity and the holder is not, you two may need to find another keyholder: To avoid giving the wearer a chance to get control back even for a short time, you could try having the current holder give/send control of the key to the new holder
Getting into and out of Long-Term Chastity
One can’t just leap into long-term chastity. It takes a long time and a lot of preparation to be able to safely sustain chastity. The body AND mind need time to adjust to the restriction and confinement, and both physical and psychological problems can and do occur if you try to rush it.
Build up your chastity stamina in slow steps: Start with a simple device and wear it for a short time – a day or less. While wearing it, check for comfort, especially made sure that it does not cut off blood flow to the balls. After taking it off, check your skin for nicks or bruising – stay out for a day. Adjust the device as needed and then wear it for 2 days. Repeat the check-in steps including staying out for a day. Wear it for 4 days – repeat the check-in steps. Wear it for a week; then 2 weeks; then a month; then 2 months; then three.
Don’t forget to stay out a day between each step and always adjust as needed If you have made it this far, then you are ready for longer-term chastity. Somewhere between 2 weeks and a month, if you are still committed, it is time to switch to a more secure device that is designed for long-term wear: You absolutely need a device that enables you to get soap and water to every bit of your skin on your penis and balls.
Although they look fierce, solid metal devices, and devices with caps are probably NOT good choices. Devices with built-in sounds are a no-go for long-term; infection is likely with even moderate term wear. Many men want a locking piercing for extra security, but there is an increased risk of injury or infection with a locking piercing.
If you plan to wear the device for years, it is worth it to get a custom-made device. A good fit is essential for long-term wear. If the device is too small, you will likely have problems cleaning and are more likely to have physical issues. Your cock should only be stressed when trying to get erect, not at rest. If the device is too big, you will likely be able to easily orgasm which kinda defeats the idea in the first place. You are also more likely to have skin problems with chafing. The best fit is comfortable and snug but not tight fit.
Be careful with measuring for the device. You will tend to be excited, and what you think is flaccid is likely to be longer and thicker than you normally are. Take multiple measurements at different times of day. Avoid devices with exposed locks – they can be cut off, they can ruin your clothes, and they can make noise when you walk.
If you are serious about losing control of the device, make sure that the keys are unique to your device. Getting a recessed lock that is keyed like thousands of cheap metal devices is not secure at all. In the same vein if you want real loss of control; it should be difficult to get a replacement key. However, you do want at least 2 keys to access: things get lost, and you will need an emergency way out. If this is a new device then start over breaking in catching any issues. You may need modifications if fit isn’t just right; DO NOT accept not quite right fit – it will come back bite with long-term wear. Work with the manufacturer to adjust for the perfect fit. I got my device adjusted initially worth few weeks delay since worn years without having taken off.
Unless already have way keep key secure start looking for a secure solution after safely stay locked at least month without release: There’s lot of getting out for adjustment during those first rounds. Many keyholders may lose patience.
Although human keyholder obvious solution other options: There electronic safes where put key set period time including some safes open when time expires and do not have backdoor. There are online apps with varying levels ease which permit you to lock away your key and forget the numer. Bt the best is to find person like Princessa Natasha Strange willing to hold the key UNDER CONDITIONS THAT WILL WORK BOTH YOU.
You will likely want a LOT of attention in long term chastity. More than a keyholder will likely give. Your attitude towards chastity likely will change too over time. Both understand this AND being willing to put up with shifting moods and neediness are of utmost importance. This is why the extended trial period is so important. You can agree to end a trial period without any penalty and talk about physical and mental issues before it becomes a huge unexpected blow-up.
Assuming keyholder relationship
It’s important to spend a lot of time and effort to keep your chastity relationship a positive one. The chastity wearers, mood will likely vary a lot in ways they may not expect. It can sometimes go from being very grateful to for being locked and having the experience, to panicking and all the emotions in between. They can whine, beg, vent, and be thankful in the same breath. Libido likely will change; could disappear, could become uncontrollable. Both awareness and preplanning on what to do in each situation is important.
Many things will improve over time; like they will get quicker and better at keeping things clean, finding work arounds to ordinary things in their life (like getting a recumbent bike as a standard bike will be uncomfortable.) Be aware that the keyholder may lose interest over time. A talk about how to make it more exciting for the keyholder, or how to take some of the pressure off of them may improve things. But, they may need to end or modify the keyholding relationship. And sometimes the keyholder may enjoy chastity more than they thought and will find unexpected ways to make the experience more intense. Either way – clear communication is key.
Getting Out of Chastity
Unless keyholder decides on permanent chastity, eventually you will need to remove the device. Physically longer really truly locked will lead to physical changes. In particular ligaments that support the balls may have changed and you may need to wear briefs to help support the balls until the ligaments adjust back. You may even need to wean yourself off and start with shorter periods out of the cage. You may find difficult get full erection or orgasm after being locked for a long time. And you may need to build stamina to hold your erections as long as you did before you were locked away. Some report continued difficulty with erections, any some people are ready swing back action immediately.
Psychologically the longer and more securely locked away you were the harder it may be to stay out of chastity. If locked long enough lose your sense of having a penis, it may feel strange not to feel the security of the device. You may have developed a psychological block around getting erections or having orgasms and feel it is “wrong” to enjoy your own penis or get hard. You may feel a loss of purpose; feeling like you failed somehow. You may even feel punished for being out and lock yourself back up trying to recapture that long-locked feeling. This rarely works. You may feel abandoned. It can take some work to transition back to non-chastity life and get reacquainted with your penis. And of course, sometimes you will find yourself always craving the comfort of chastity.
Your Relationship with chastity
Overall while sometimes the long-held fantasy of having girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/etc hold your key is the perfect solution, living that dream may make it clear that it’s not. Sometimes a horny bottom will delude themselves not realizing the work that goes into long term chastity and will find short term – and week or a month fits their life and their fantasies much better. Sometimes the wearer realizes that it’s simply control of their orgasms they would like to let go of. Also remember that long term chastity can add stress to the hundreds of other things that stress a relationship and work hard to hard keep chastity stress separate from the rest of your lives together. A safeword to use and call a time-out and what that time out means.