As a little girl, I was always fascinated with sex and the power of the taboo.
I grew up in the middle of Oregon on a small farm and knew nothing of pop culture. My mom cut my hair, and her own willow switches. Both felt like their own brand of punishment. I was often bullied in school. Always by the boys. The girls tended to ignore me as I was bookish and weird. I will never forget the very first time when, backed into a corner, I finally kicked my aggressor in the balls. I felt a rush of power. Instantly I went from simply wishing they would leave me alone to read my book in peace, to looking forward with anticipation to the daily assault I would give them. Looking back now, I realize that some of them enjoyed the power exchange even in the third grade.
By high school, I was a sexual demon. I didn’t know there were names for the roles I enjoyed. I just knew that sex was power, and I needed to feel that rush as often as possible.
My very first shoot landed me on the cover of The Spectator. Below is a shoot for Leg Show Magazine saluting the late great Eric Stanton.
During my last year in college I finally found a name for those roles. I started working at a fetish and fantasy house just outside of San Francisco called Fantasy Makers in 1995. I started there as a switch, and enjoyed it as a learning experience, but I quickly found myself drawn to playing the role of the Dominant Sadistic Goddess. Always with a wicked sense of humor. Fantasy Makers was a great place to explore my kinky sexuality and fostered a lifelong love of the kink and BDSM community. But soon enough – I outgrew it.
I spent most of my twenty years based in San Francisco working out of the beautiful Maison de la Maitresse. Being an independent professional Dominatrix at Maison was the way for me to explore myself and the world. I traveled all over the world to visit worshipful devotees. I put myself through school, searching for my “real career”. Turns out, my real career is a professional Dominatrix and BDSM educator.
My main interest has always been playing, not modeling. Only a few iconic photos remain from those early years…
Fostering connections and community in the kink world has always been important to me. One of the first that I nurtured into being was The Pink Posse, my harem of sissy grrls. Below is a picture of us at the Folsom Street Fair. Each year they would have a themed group costume – this one was my favorite. Another group I founded then was The Girl Gang, a group of amazing FemDoms I’m still proud to call friends. A session with The Girl Gang was awarded to devoted submissives who completed an extensive written application. Goddess I love protocol. Girl Gang sessions were a time to show off our favorite submissives and skillshare with each other as professionals. After all, who doesn’t like playing with their friends? The joy I found in bringing these groups to life foreshadowed the community that Mistress Viola and I would later create in Sub Rosa.
Both of these communities fed my soul, but in very different ways.
In 2009, I gave birth to my daughter and stepped back from sessions with devotees, aside from a lucky few. I turned my attentions to coaching women and couples in BDSM and kink. After so many years of catering to the fantasies of men, I was captivated by women’s sexual journeys and helping them name and realize their own deepest desires. My experiences learning from other women confirmed what I had always suspected – that toxic masculinity is bad for EVERYONE’S sex life.
I am lucky to have so many lovely devoted submissives over the years. I treasure not only our play time together, but also our friendships.
I moved to Portland, Oregon in 2015 and continued expanding my coaching business with a weekly 2 hour show on O.school which was heard by curious novices and kinksters all over the world. In 2018 I published my second book, Kinky Sex Tips for Curious Girls, which was modelled after the activity books I loved as a child – complete with puzzles, coloring pages, and tips for crafting safe and sexy BDSM scenes to boot. And because I do love to self publish, in 2020 I published D is for Diaper Humiliation as part of a consensual blackmail game with my naughty lil’ Baby Buttons. A girls gotta keep herself entertained during a global pandemic!
Sub Rosa is the culmination of many years exploring what it is that I love about BDSM. It’s a magical combination of soft leather and innate femininity.
Creating Sub Rosa with Mistress Viola has been a dream come true. After living in the Bay Area for so long with sky high rents, I had never imagined the possibility of owning my own dungeon space. But Sub Rosa is so much more than simply a dungeon space. It’s a FemDom hideaway. It’s the heart of the local kink community. An education space. A kink space. And of course a haven for all the queers and BIPOC kinksters who call Portland home!